Meet Milligram
Hi. I’m MilliGram.
Yes, that MilliGram—the one you noticed immediately and then pretended not to stare at.
Officially, I am many things: former sprinting champion, professional cuddle missile, and emotional first responder. Unofficially, I am the chaos department. I move fast, love harder, and operate under the firm belief that snacks solve at least 87% of life’s problems.
I may not be traditionally pretty – the paddle stick of life came at me with enthusiasm. But what I lack in symmetry, I make up for in heart, loyalty, and an unshakeable commitment to showing up for everyone—human, dog, stranger, friend, doesn’t matter. If you live with a dog who is always a little too close, a little too intense, and absolutely worth it, congratulations. You get me.
My personality in a nutshell
I am confident, cheeky, and emotionally available at all times.
I forgive quickly. I love deeply. I have no concept of personal space and no interest in developing one. If you are nearby, I will be touching you. This is not negotiable; this is affection.
In my younger years, I was a sprinting queen. Lure coursing titles stacked up faster than I could process them. Speed was my thing. Focus was my thing. Winning was very much my thing. These days, I may have retired from competition, but the drive never left. It simply redirected itself into devotion, protection, and making sure everyone around me is okay.
Chaos, yes. But purposeful chaos.
Why I rep the Snackolas (and Drool Approve them)
Here’s the truth: I don’t believe in choosing just one favourite.
Life is unpredictable. Some days you need beef. Some days lamb. Sometimes pork. Sometimes fish. I like options. I like surprise. I like not knowing exactly what’s coming next—but knowing it will be good.
Smidgie Snackolas™ give me variety without compromising quality. Every piece still smells right, tastes right, and delivers the protein hit I expect. No fillers. No nonsense. Just different flavours doing their job properly.
For a dog like me—one who thrives on stimulation, novelty, and motivation—Snackolas make sense. They keep training interesting and effort consistent. That earns my approval. Drool approved, enthusiastically.
My treat and chew expectations
Let’s be clear: chaos does not mean low standards. I demand:
- Real, human-grade meat. Always.
- Enticing aroma. If I’m going to stop what I’m doing, it better be convincing.
- Ready-to-go pieces. No prep, no dust, no disappointment. No sad dry granny biscuits.
- Rewards that are worth sprinting for, even now.
I may forgive fast, but I do not tolerate bad snacks. If it’s in the bag, I assume it passed inspection. If it didn’t, that’s between you and your conscience.
Life with my people (no personal space included)
At home, I am the ultimate cuddle commitment. Nighttime means full-body contact. I will wedge myself into impossible positions just to be closer.
I am loyal to a fault and emotionally invested in my people’s wellbeing. If someone is sad, I know. If someone needs comfort, I’m already there. If someone needs protection, I stand tall—despite appearances.
I am not delicate. I am devoted.
If you’re still reading, you’re clearly one of the clever ones
You scanned the bag. That tells me you’re paying attention.
As a quiet little reward, you may want to remember the phrase MIXEDBAGENERGY. It might just unlock 20% off Snackolas the next time you stock up.
MilliGram
Sprint queen. Chaos coordinator.
Heart of gold. Zero personal space.